Married to the Chair PLUS ONE

Aug 06, 2015
Tagged with: Married to the Chair PLUS ONE

Today I dropped the cap to my water bottle under my desk and thought with dismay, how am I ever going to get that? In case you didn’t know I am pregnant. Which in and of itself is a story for another time. But amongst the many arduous tasks that come with pregnancy bending over is one of them. Especially having to bend over all the way to the floor! Do you know how far away that is? That’s Pluto in pregnancy language. Being pregnant is an amazing gift. Feeling a life move inside you is absolutely incredible until about midnight when you haven’t slept in a week, and your bed has turned into a torture chamber instead of the cloud of awesomeness it was just a few short months ago and all you want in this life is just to get a few hours of sleep!
Being pregnant, I have come to realize, is just a test of your mental stability. I can literally go from feeling completely full to “hangrily” starving in less than 1 minute. Things happen to your body that you know should not be normal. Weird things like waking up with a bloody nose almost every day, or having your wrist go painfully numb on a flight and remain that way for the next 24 hours and the only thing that keeps you somewhat sane during this time is when you talk to another mom to be or a nurse who easily responds, “oh yeah that’s totally normal” when you know in reality it shouldn’t be. In the beginning I wanted to know what every little thing meant, every ache or pain or “weird thing.” Seven months in I am way past that and pretty much anything that happens I just attest to being pregnant. I am pretty sure a toe could fall off at this point and if I could even see it when I looked down I would just chalk it up to being pregnant. Another test of your mental stability is the lack of filters on other people’s mouths. Like the little girl on my track team that looked at me in shock when she found out I was pregnant and said, “You’re pregnant? I thought you were just fat.” That tender child might have run a few extra laps that day. Or the ladies that see me on a fairly regular basis at work yet decided to open one Monday morning with, “Wow, you are getting out there- how much longer do you have” and when I responded October they said, “Dang you are big, you have got a belly.” Thank you dear sweet ladies, I am going to go eat another cookie at my desk now.
Pregnancy brain is a whole other thing that is very real! I’m just glad some body wrote that down in a book somewhere so that my husband actually believes me when I tell him I can’t recall a single word from the conversation we were having last night. Not the one about what kind of ice cream I wanted for dessert. That I can recall in full detail, but the one where we made life altering decisions about the direction of our life – that one I can’t remember a word of! We are also trying to sell our house right now. Let’s just say that being 7 months pregnant with full-fledged pregnancy brain and married to a guy who can only reach about 5 feet up probably isn’t the most ideal scenario when trying to fix up a house built in the 50’s. The house goes on the market tomorrow and as I type there are currently trees growing in our backyard where it just used to be grass because it’s been so long since it’s been cut. So we have to annoyingly shell out money for something either of us could do ourselves under different circumstances and when we call the guy to come do it he just says ok I’ll be by sometime this week. Those are potential full on melt down words to a pregnant chic whose house goes on the market the next day. And I bet he slept great last night.KelraypregoIIII
On the flip side there are some pretty nice pro’s to your husband being a wheelchair user when you are pregnant. For one we can walk into any Lowe’s or Home Depot and be offered help by every single employee in the store not to mention other shoppers. The other day I went in to get a bag of grout or something that was a little heavy and when I got to the register the lady took one look at me and got on the loud speaker saying that she had a “woman who was with child that needed assistance getting something to her car.” How many people do you think came running? And I didn’t even say a word. That pretty much happens anywhere we go.( Side note- the hubs goes to Lowe’s so often now that even though I have never met her the cashier now refers to herself as “auntie” and can’t wait to meet our little girl!) I also conveniently have a place to sit down any-time, anywhere. If we have to wait for anything (which in pregnancy standing terms is anything over a minute) I can just sit in his lap. He is also way more willing to tie my shoes than I am…I mean he is already like half way down there anyways.
There are also a lot of pro’s to just being pregnant in general. For one I get to eat carbs! Oh how I had missed my Cheerios in the morning, but not anymore! And it doesn’t even matter that those carbs, along with the growing life inside of me has made me the size of a bus. I can still wear anything in my closet because there is no such thing as a “fat day” when all you wear is maternity clothes anyways. I have also taken naps and lazy Saturdays to levels I never thought possible.
But inevitably we have hit some bumps when it comes to the whole wheelchair thing too. For example, no doctor’s office is equipped to have space for a wheelchair- ever! Accessible parking at a hospital/ dr’s office is a nightmare. Look people, we just want to have space to open our car door all the way for the wheelchair to fit hopefully some time before we get to the roof access parking only. But to make parking easier on the big day our hospital graciously gave us valet vouchers, to which we both laughed knowing that it was highly unlikely that any valet would be willing to park our car when they will have to use our hand controls!
I am sure there have been a ton of other things and I am sure there will be a ton more but it’s been a few minutes since I sat down to write this and I’ve already left to go to the restroom 3 times and the snacks that were piled around my desk are starting to diminish to the point that I know I am going to have to get lunch very soon. So that will have to do until next time.

Author: Kelly Bonner



  • bobl07

    Do people really make fun of your belly? Wow, talk about inappropriate language. I better not hear anything. Remember that if it is a boy, Robert, is a great name. (:>