Apr 09, 2013
Tagged with: Envy

Often I struggle with jealousy of others’ abilities, especially the physical abilities that I lack.  It’s even harder for me when someone has a significant accident but then recovers, because I can’t recover.


A few months back, a friend of the family had a significant traumatic brain injury.  He almost died, and lost the use of pretty much everything.  His doctors forecast that he would gain some movement back, but not all.  I never expected it to be this hard to watch him go through rehab.  I want to be supportive, but on the other hand it is really hard knowing that he’s making progress.  I work hard at physical therapy just to maintain.


He has recovered more than anyone predicted.  I think the part that hurts the most is that everyone is cheering him on while I feel like I’m still giving it my all, but my progress can’t be noted and I don’t have the constant cheerleading.  Additionally, the family is always blogging remarks such as “Imagine if you couldn’t move” and “Cherish the fact that you can.”  It feels like it’s being rubbed in my face.


I know every human struggles with jealousy to an extent, but it doesn’t feel good to have this negative emotion tugging at me.  I’ve talked to several friends with various disabilities and they’ve all identified a similar feeling and shared it with me as well.  I’ve come to realize that if you don’t identify this envy it can eat at you and potentially become bitter and angry.  While I’m happy and upbeat 99% of the time, I think it is tremendously important, regardless of whether you have a disability or not, to acknowledge and become in touch with these emotions.  They’re real and they can hurt.


Resources to consider:




Author: Demi Eckhoff

  • Elizabeth Vander Kamp

    Demi, once again you have written such a meaningful post. Thank you for your honesty and willingness to share about envy. How grateful I am for your blogs!