The Up & Down Emotions of a Diagnosis Part I: Some Things are Harder to Accept than Others

May 11, 2011
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Some of you may have read some of my previous blogs about my personal struggle with being diagnosed with the debilitating disease of MS (multiple sclerosis) at the age of 22. Fortunately for me, most people don’t know about my diagnosis even though not a day goes by that I don’t think about it or am reminded of it.

I am currently going through what I guess you could call a “relapse of emotions.” I have often spoken of the struggle of my acceptance of the diagnosis. Even today, 3 years later, I often find myself doubting the diagnosis and praying that a mistake was made. Or I find myself living in denial that nothing will ever change or happen to me.

I will say, that I’m better able to talk about my personal story and my personal symptoms, but what I still find hard to discuss is what is called, “Progressive MS.” The Relapsing Remitting type that I currently have does not significantly scare me, but the Progressive type of MS scares me to death.

For those of you that don’t know Relapsing Remitting is a type of MS where you have flare-ups of the condition, and most of the time the flare ups will dissipate and you will be back to normal. With Progressive MS it is a more of a slow, gradual decline and more permanent damage is done.

I can’t even read about Progressive MS without abruptly closing the book, crying, and screaming that I will never wake up to find myself in that type of predicament and praying to God that he will never let that happen to me.

The truth however is, you never know, you have no control, and I unfortunately found that I have a lesson that has yet to be learned.

Check back Friday May 13, 2011 to read more about the Ups and Downs of a Diagnosis.

Author: Jess

  • Dixie_squirt

    jessica you are a strong person and a compasssonate one you keep on moving and encouraging others and your family will be at your side always!

  • Jess

    Thank you! My family is what keeps me going in life, and at the end ofthe day that is who everyone should be able to count on. They are the source of any success I’ve had. :-)