It’s hard to remember so long ago. It’s hard to remember a time when I didn’t confide in a wheelchair for all of my basic of needs as well as those deepest, darkest ventures. It’s hard to remember what my psyche was supposed to grow to be.

Dwell in Possibility

As a kid, I was resilient, yet cautious. I was tame, yet daring. I don’t really think that these or any instilled traits left me as I grew or as I gained a new identity with wheels; however it is more like they evolved into something far more useful and applicable to my new existence. From the start, being thrown into the role of the one that stood out as a paranoid sixteen-year old, my wheelchair quickly became a symbolic black hole of confidence for me. Throughout college, I determined that it was my job to create a sense of comfort among my peers and that my differences didn’t really matter. But they do and I am finally okay with that. I should have realized from the start that I am nothing to be shy about, or ashamed of, or scared for.

It has taken me well over ten years to discover my own sense of self alongside my wheelchair. Although my wheels don’t define me, they also can’t be ignored; because, without that experience, I would definitely not be where I am today, nor would I appreciate what I have been given with the same zest and excitement.

However as good it sounds, the very last adjective that I would use to describe myself is “confident.” The word “confidence” is more than a word. It is an expression, it is a behavior, it is an emotion, it is a potential stepping-stone. It is a crossroad to success.

I wholeheartedly acknowledge all of this, which is why it has been my personal quest to conquer my mind and release that confidence from within. I know that it lives inside of me, a purplish-blue light that circles and spins throughout my being, but it has been hiding as long as I can remember, per my self-deprecating request.

Confidence cannot be found through others. It cannot be produced through events, if you think it can be, then you haven’t truly found it yet. I continue on this daily journey of confident thought and every single day, I surprise myself. I have found that if you simply open yourself up to the notion, life becomes easier, and much more enjoyable.

So, here’s to confidence in myself and in everyone with the same interest in finding it.